Run and Not Grow Weary

I have been debating with myself whether or not write this post. It's a tough one. But writing is therapeutic, and maybe this post will raise awareness to you.
I don't share very much about my anxiety, it's kind of a personal thing, and for people who do not have this disorder- they don't really understand how it affects you in such a strong way.
I have had this issue most of my life, and when I think back on my childhood, I can now realize what was wrong with me. I was not a weird child, I had an anxiety issue that no one new I had, not even me.

I grew up in Orlando, and was born to very young parents. My parents did the best they could given their circumstances. I was very close to my grandparents because they were a huge part of my life from day 1. My grandfather died when I was 13. I remember it was right after the 1996 olympics, and while I was watching my favorite gymnast, Dominique Moceanu on re-run, my grandfather had a stroke- right in front of me. After he died, I was TERRIFIED of hospitals. They reminded me of him, and it scared me. To this day, I still try to avoid driving by any hospital, and if I do- I have a mild anxiety attack. It has gotten better though, but still not something I can do with ease.

During that time, that was also when my mom and dad got divorced. My dad left to Nashville with his girlfriend and I was devastated. Not good timing! Another person who I didn't have close. My mom was angry and hurt by both her dad and the divorce and had her own issues she was dealing with. This left me extremely insecure. Jump a few years later and my mom re-marries, and someone new moved into my broken home. Oh boy- was that fun. Enough on that.

A few years passed and I met friends who became my second family. My anxiety subsided and I felt happy and was having fun with my friends. We did EVERYTHING together. Beach, concerts, swimming, parties, scrapbooking, BBQ'ing, and traveling to name a few. They were in my life for 13 years. That is a long time- and they became my family. I met most of my current friends from this circle.

You always hope that people have good intentions, and sometimes you find out otherwise. Friendships change as you grow older, and so do your feeling towards people. When feelings get in the way, depending on the circumstance, it can be tricky. And in this case it was. Our friendship ended last year, and even though I am pulling through it, I miss a certain few terribly. It is very strange not talking to them, and some days are still hard.
Some people close to me tell me that maybe they will have a change of heart. And as sad as I am to say this, I do not want to go back. I am moving forward towards bigger and better.

A close friend of mine's son was also diagnosed with childhood cancer last year. This boy was always close to my heart and when I walked in to his hospital room a day after his diagnosis (yes this took courage), my heart cried. It hurt for him and hurt for my friend. No one should ever have to go through such a terrible thing. It has been a tough year for them, but they are keeping their faith alive and fighting   for a cure.

After saying all this, my anxiety has become a large part of my life. Even though you cannot see it, it's there. The physical and emotional part of anxiety is the worst to deal with. It literally makes you sick.
But I know God is just putting me through this storm to end up in a place where I will be the happiest. I am teaching at a small christian school, in which I love. I am working with children doing ABA for Autism, and getting ready to begin classes for board certification for Applied Behavior Analysis. I have a lot going on, and am truly excited about working towards this goal.
Be honest, kind, sensitive, passionate, motivated, and just give a smile or hug to someone you know. You never know who is battling a storm.

Thanks for reading- and if you are having struggles in your life right now...may this truth bless you-

"But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:31

Embracing A New Path

It's April, which means that it is also Autism Awareness Month. I write this post for two reasons, 1- to spread awareness of Autism and 2- to explain how my life took an unexpected turn.

All my life I thought I would be a teacher. There was never anything else that really interested me. So during my college years, I taught prekindergarten at one of the best little preschools in downtown Orlando. I had many friends there, and we LOVED what we did. After I graduated, I knew it was time to move on. I needed to make more money and felt the time was right. 

A position was open at my church's school, The First Academy, in the division of Special Needs Education. I was hired and accepted this job, but leaving my comfort zone of Delaney Street where I taught was a very scary feeling. Little did I know how much this new job was going to open different doors.
I taught there for two years. I was a lead teacher for 2nd grade and kindergarden. All of the children in my class were on the Autism Spectrum or had another related disability. I loved what I did with the kids, and knew they loved me back...even though their tantruming could have had me believing otherwise! Exhausted does not even begin to describe how I felt each day!
During my experience with this school, I met new people and made new friends. Little did I know that the lady who was coming in each month to observe the Applied Behavior Analysis approach our classroom was taking, would be a lady who I would be working for independently as a Behavior Assistant today! After leaving the school, I kept in touch with her and she persisted that I become a Behavior Assistant with her ABA company. I took the offer and am now working on my courses for the National Board Certified Behavior Analysis Exam. After I complete these courses I plan to become a full-time therapist providing ABA for children with Autism. I am so excited for this journey!

I cannot express to you how rewarding it is to see progress in a child you are working with. The SMALLEST task can be a HUGE task in the eyes of a child with Autism.
Spread the word about AUTISM AWARENESS!

Flowers and Topiaries Galore!

This past weekend I spent most of it outside at Epcot! It was the first weekend for the Flower and Garden Festival, and I always love these as they have great food kiosks, special items for sale and also of course the Disney spirit that comes along with it.

Tinkerbell's Butterfly House was so cute. Butterflies flew around in a tent amongst fairy topiaries, little waterfalls and live flowers and plants.

Each country had a special topiary. Below you will see some of my favorites!

Of course one of the best parts of the day was walking around tasting all the different foods!

What is your favorite part of Flower and Garden?? I'd love for you to share!

Day One- Success!

Well, today is day one of the gluten/wheat free life! For breakfast I had a bowl of cinnamon Chex cereal. Lunch was deli- meat roll ups of Boars Head chicken, colby longhorn cheese and a banana. For dinner I made chicken pot pies using my temptations cookware. Of course there was no crust of gluten filled dough, but instead a mixture of mashed cauliflower and cheddar cheese.

 Here is the recipe for Gluten Free Chicken Pot Pies:

1 package cauliflower florets
1/2 shredded cheddar cheese
4 TB butter, divided
3/4 TS sea salt, divided
2 carrots, sliced thin (I used organic pre-sliced carrots)
2 C broccoli florets, cut into small pieces
1 package sliced mushrooms
12 ounces chicken tenders, cut into cubes
1/2 C sour cream
1/4 TS ground black pepper

Preheat the oven to 375F
Place the cauliflower in steamer, cover and cook for 15 min or until tender
In a large bowl, add the cheese, 2 TB of the butter, and 1/4 TS of salt. Mash until smooth and set aside
Meanwhile, in large ovenproof skillet, heat 1 TB of butter. Add the carrots, broc, and mushrooms, cook until tender crisp. Remove and set aside in a large bowl.

Return skillet to heat and add the remaining 1 TB butter. Cook the chicken, stirring until no longer pink. Cut into small pieces.

Stir in sour cream, pepper, the remaining 1/2 TS salt, chicken and the reserved vegetables.
Place in individual casseroles. Cover with the mashed cauliflower. Bake for 35 minutes or until heated through.

You Mean I Have What?

Since last August I have been battling some strange stomach issues. This is when my anxiety got really bad because I had no clue what was going on with my body. So the typical anxiety ridden me, thinks omg I have appendicitis, no wait I think I have a cyst, no no I don't, it must be my gall bladder. The weird sensations traveled around my stomach and I felt as if I was going a little crazy. I also had this extremely annoying feeling in my thigh that felt like I needed to stretch it to the moon. Waking up with night sweats because I was so scared I had a real problem. My fear of hospitals and being sick with something made it even worse. Google searches and looking up my symptoms online just made it 1,000 times worse. It literally was ruining my days, every day obsessing about my body, it was terrible.

After visiting my doctor and different specialists on MANY occasions, ultrasounds and lab work- the diagnosis? IBS

How ridiculous! You mean to tell me that after ALL OF THIS, I have an issue that most people and books tell you "it's mostly caused by anxiety and stress"? I still have the weird thigh/leg problem and feel odd sensations in my stomach 90% of the time. 

My doctor told me to take over the counter Miralax, and to maybe cut out some foods such as breads, potatoes and rice. After doing some research about IBS, there seems to be some type of link between IBS and Gluten Intolerance. Cutting out wheat from my diet is something I will be trying, for at least a month to see how I react. I know a few people who have Celiac that are willing to help me on this journey. Because so many people are living this lifestyle, it is pretty easy to find accommodations at restaurants. Grocery stores are full of options too! I will keep you posted on my results. But for now...off to do some shopping to fill my kitchen with wheat free goodies!

Have you been on  gluten-free diet before? How did you react? 

An Unexpected Email

From: Avenues World School

To: Mallory Creekmore

     We are anticipating a total enrollment of 1,100 students for the upcoming school year. We are asking for you to resubmit your papers, and update your resume as necessary. From this end we shall do our best to keep you posted on our progress. We ask for your patience and understanding.

With best wishes for the New Year,

The Avenues Leadership Team

      I re-read this letter a few times before it actually sank in. I didn’t share the entire email as it was quite long but you get the gist.

     I applied to The Avenues School almost a year ago, just to see if I had a shot. This school is one of the most prestigious private schools in New York City and I wanted to see, just see, if I was good enough for such a place. Working there amongst the elite would be a dream come true.

I never heard from them of course, I didn’t expect to, and I had even forgotten about sending in my resume and credentials until last night. I opened my email and there it was- an email from Avenues nine months later.

Let me first say- I am NOT an adventurous person. At all. I am much more comfortable in my comfort zone of Orlando with my family and friends. If I had an opportunity to teach in another state, especially at Avenues, how on earth could I talk myself into the idea? Especially in New York City. It’s like a whole other world there. I am not keen on the idea of relying on public transportation, subways freak me out as it is as a tourist- let alone if I had to do it daily! I cannot just get in my car and go to Target. There is no Target in the city (that I know of). Everything is a production there and getting anywhere is a task. I would be in an apartment and I am not living in a shoebox. After receiving the email, and for the fun of it, I searched for NYC apartments in Chelsea that are close to the school. So there I was searching for apartments on the Highline! For a place that is safe and somewhere I would comfortably live would cost me around 4,000 a month for just rent.

 I know there are people reading this that would think I am the craziest girl in the world for not jumping for an opportunity like this. But what would I do up there while I wasn’t working? I wouldn’t know anybody, and sitting in my extra small apartment by myself doesn’t sound very exciting. Sigh…God sure is mysterious. I am not quite sure what He is trying to do here. Who knows what the future holds for me and my career. But as I reflect on my Word of the Year, I must Trust his plan. He will guide my way.

Mallory

The ABA Journey

"Welcome to PSY5005- Orientation to Graduate Learning in Psychology".
This is what I read in the syllabus as I opened it up today for my class starting on Monday. AM I CRAZY?! I just graduated with my Masters in Education last month, not even 3 complete weeks ago, and here I am again...AGAIN!
I am not crazy, maybe just a little obsessed with being in school! I am now working as a behavior assistant therapist in families homes, working with children with disabilities and using ABA techniques to change behavior for the better. This is something that I love doing ever since I taught special education at TFA. Because I have to take the BCBA board exam (Board Certified Behavior Analyst) to become a certified Behavior Analyst, I need to take the required courses.
                          

My plan was to just take the courses to meet requirements for the board exam. But after speaking with my academic advisor, she informed me that I would just be FOUR courses away from a second masters degree. So after some thought, I decided to go with it. I am now pursuing my Masters of Science in Psychology with a specialization in Applied Behavior Analysis.
While I continue school (again), I will be working with Developing Positive Changes, and a great mentor who is helping me on this crazy yet rewarding journey! I am already loving my clients, and I think they love me too :)